So i'm kinda over facebook. really just looking for an outlet. a proper one. to explain. share. talk myself through days i don't understand. I'd like to say i have it all figured out. But that would be a lie. Furthest thing from the truth really. Every time I think i know something, turns out I knew less than i did before. Positive I'm bi-polar. Undiagnosed for now. Till insurance carries over and i get a proper doctor. One who listens to me and doesn't tell me i'm just severly depressed. It's more than that.
I need a center. I strong point within me. A pillar i can stand on and know undoubtedly its a place that no one can move me from. I'm an emotional being. Always have been. And i'm ok with this. I prefer this to what i see in others. A complete lack of feeling. And through every trial of my life, i do get stronger and the tears don't come as easily. Although when they do, lord help us all.
Most of the time i feel like i'm standing in a stream. Sometimes it just rushes past me, my palms caressing the water and it flows by. Others i feel the current pulling me through it's whirlwind dance, and i'm tossed along the ride.
I guess i should really consider a personal journal, but part of my flaw is the need to have others hear me, understand me, know me. The curse of the artistic soul?
unfinished ideas. my specialty.
